What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
