I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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