woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
