After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
