Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize