You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
