Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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