Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
