Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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