there's paper in my vomit.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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