I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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