You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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