help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
