i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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