By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
