nut hugger
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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