My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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