she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
