I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
