we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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