And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
