You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
