so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
