It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
