drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just found a bag of teeth...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
