I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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