singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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