FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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