Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
