College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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