Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
