Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
