sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
