My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
