I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
