Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
barbara walters just said penis...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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