how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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