Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize