Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize