it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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