The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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