fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
