gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
