Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
