Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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