people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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