You just made me feel so damn special
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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