Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize