Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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