Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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