I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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