I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize