David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
