I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
