I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
