It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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