His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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