I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
birth control should be required to get into college
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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