Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
