im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize