We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
