I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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