Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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