Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do vagina's smell?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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