With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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