so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize