Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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